The realisation

They sometimes say the severe shock or stress of a major event can make you ill in a number of ways. I’m not sure if this is entirely true but 11 years ago I had a major relationship break up. It left me at rock bottom which by my standards means feeling depressed, unsure of my instincts and lacking confidence. Being quite a mentally strong person I had a few verbal battles with myself. It’s hard to explain but I knew I had to try harder and work harder to get what I wanted out of my life. Within a few months I was making progress at work, eating healthier, and socialising with friends. I also met a great bloke who helped me, along with my family to overcome this difficult time.

I’m not fully sure when my hair loss occurred but I suspect this period of my life was the trigger. I always wore my hair in braids and had my hair plaited using human hair extensions for years. Everytime I took them out and washed and treated my hair my mother always used to say “make sure you give your hair a break from extensions so that it can recover”. Even back then in my 20’s I never used to like being seen without them.

A few years into my new role at work I began to notice that the extensions at the front of my hair would keep coming out and when I did not have them in there was not much to comb. My hair felt and looked thinner. I then decided to see a hair specialist for wigs and weaves. She was very good and gave a thorough consultation she advised that I keep photos of my hair to monitor my scalp. Even at this early stage she recommended that i see my GP but I chose to go along with some of her suggestions for covering it up. I had found a new way to disguise it in the form of a weave which I had never had before. I went regularly over the next few years, making the one hour drive from Birmingham to Leicester each time. Every time I removed the weaves I kept fooling myself that my hair was okay when in reality it was getting quite severe. The photos I took religiously but did not really see much difference each time as I only ever compared them to the last time I did it. Eventually my hairdresser stated that in order to continue to have a weave she would need to construct a false scalp made of a mesh across the front of my head to give her something to stitch the hair to! I still told no one and agreed to it regardless. I left the salon looking as I always did, like a lady with no worries and a fully styled head of hair.

Two months later I was due to return to have my weave done again. When I took them out and tried to wash my hair I felt like lots of hair was coming out into the bath. I rang my hairdresser and asked her if she could help me style my natural hair without a weave as I had the realisation there was not enough hair there to twist it as I would normally. The next visit to the salon saw me leave and using my phone I took pictures of my hair from above. What I saw made me cry in the toilets of the salon and I realised I needed to do something before I lost all of my hair.