I am a frequent visitor to my GP due to other female specific health issues I have. So the thought of having to disclose yet another personal condition was not something I wanted to do. My reasoning was always that if I saw someone now then I could prevent the condition getting any worse. I visited my GP and with a lump in my throat and sweaty palms I removed the headwear that i had recently started to wear. This was the first time anyone had ever seen my natural hair besides my partner and I felt sick at the thought this was happening. My GP was a female, as I had specifically requested this at the time of booking in the hope she may be more sympathetic to what she was about to see.
On entrance to the consultation room she made me feel welcome and proceeded to ask how she could help. I sat down and began explaining the process of my “realisation”. She listened attentively and once I had finished she asked to see my hair. I felt scared at removing my headwear, that sick feeling came back and I nervously removed my headwear to reveal my patchy scalp. Thankfully her face did not appear to look disgusted and after giving permission for her to begin the examination she was standing in front of me. Within minutes she had touched and viewed my scalp using her gloved fingers and a magnifier. “I dont really want to give a diagnosis as it could be a specific dermatological condition that I am unsure of.” This was not what I wanted to hear especially after I realised I would need to do this all over again as she recommended I be referred to a senior male GP who specialised in dermatology. On leaving her office I realised this was going to be a much longer process than I could ever have imagined.
The next few years saw a series of visits to the GP as either 3 or 4 monthly appointments were issued each time. I was prescribed a number of different tablets and topical ointments some of which exacerbated the itching or had no effect at all. The constant use of different medications and their lack of effectiveness at reducing my hair loss and flair ups of irritable skin, began to take its toll on me. I knocked on the door years later and the doctor asked how I was doing. I just want the itching and hair loss to stop. The GP stated again that my hair loss was probably due to the tight hair plaits and weaves I had been putting in my hair at which point I felt a wave of anger come over me. I was sick of hearing the same thing over again especially as I knew this was not the reason my hair was falling out. The anger then subsided and I felt helpless as the tears rolled down my face and I began to sob. He promptly offered me a tissue and a referral to see the consultant dermatologist. Who knew all I had to do was breakdown to get the referral that I desperately needed.
6 months later I attended my first appointment a little more hopeful I would get a diagnosis but with significantly less hair than I had st the start of my journey. By now I had to resort to wearing wigs to hide the loss of hair I had and the irritability of the wig on my skin was a daily occurrence. On examination with the consultant i felt much more at ease and answered all the questions asked swiftly. It was much more thorough and over the next few months i was given medication to reduce my skin irritability, had medical imaging photos taken and been given an appointment to have a scalp biopsy taken. I really feel that this was the changing of my mindset and on the day of my biopsy results I felt a huge sense of relief as I was given a pack of information about lichen planopilaris. At last a diagnosis, it this was bittersweet itself as all I heard in the next sentence was “we can treat the symptoms but the hair loss is scarring and therefore, permanent “.
The tears were back and I was sobbing once more.
Alopecia for life 